Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize