Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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