All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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