Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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