mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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