Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
