i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
