Midget sex pt 2 tonight
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
