I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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