We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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