With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
