Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
