Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Jerry, you need to find god
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
