he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Randomize
