Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
