That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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