why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Randomize