You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
