the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
im six kinds of drunk right now
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Found the puke drawer
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize