Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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