hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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