it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize