Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
