i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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