I wish I only lived at night.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
