I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
