PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
