When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
