I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
