we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
