I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
