idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
