the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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