Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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