Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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