I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
