what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
