Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
