i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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