you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
