Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
