I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
