How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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