Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
