party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
