she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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