one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
