so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
