There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
