this beer tastes like vomit already
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
