Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
