Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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