i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
