Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
