We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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