Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize