Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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