It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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