I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
