...so i touched it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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