i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
