I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
