I just pynch a tree in the face
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
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