remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
