I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
